Bath time!!

I figured I'd lighten things up a bit after that last post!! :)

The kiddos having fun in the bathtub!

July 15th is a very hard day for me. It has been for the past 12 years and I'm certain it will be for as long as I live. 12 years ago today, my mom died of cancer. I cannot imagine what my life would be like or who I would be if this tragic event had not happened to me. I am forever changed because of it. I think of her often. At times it seems as though its been so long and its hard to remember the feelings and the pain and other times it feels as long it was just yesterday.

I've done a pretty good job of hiding my emotions for the past 10 or so years. I've bottled it all up...or actually just gotten rid of all emotions all together. Easier that way, I presumed. That way there would be no getting hurt. I've recently had a new resolve to try to love with more of my heart and feel the pain that exists as a result of tragedy or heartache in my life. I cried so much for the first 2 years after my mom died that one day I decided that was it. And I've really never cried much since then. About much of anything.

No more feelings equals no more pain. I now realize, 10 years later, that is no way to live.

My mom was a fantastic woman. I know she would have loved my kids. They would have loved to go to nana's house to visit. I would have loved to call her for advice. I would love more than anything to... You could insert almost anything into the end of that sentence. My hearts aches tonight knowing that I will never be able to do any of those things. I will never see her, speak to her in person, hug her, eat dinner with her, be embarrassed to go yard saling with her, or see her smile on this Earth again.

I love you, Mom and miss you terribly.

Family Vacation

Last week we went on a vacation with Dustin's family to a cabin in Warren, PA. We stayed in a cabin owned by their relatives. We went swimming in the lake at the Kinzua Dam, rented a pontoon boat, ate lots of smores by the fire and had lots of fun. Plus, I had lots of help with my kiddos!! Kate challenged me more times last week than I think I'd prefer in an entire year, but we're working through that. I'm hoping she was just really excited for "vaca" as she kept calling it and really tired from all the excitement. Anyways...it was fun. We all had a nice, relaxing time.


Kate and Dustin on the quad


WALKING!! around the cabin


Swimming in the lake


Jack HATED the life jacket! He looks happy here...but he hated it!


Me and Kate on the boat


The girls


The guys


We all jumped in the lake from the boat.


Me and the kiddos. The boat even helped Jack to nap briefly in my arms! A first!


Jack LOVES my sister in law Sarah. LOVE isn't even really the word. He would get so excited every morning when he first saw her, then give her a big hug and kiss. He would even wrap his arms around her and give her a hug! This is the two of them laying by the lake. First, he was checking things out...


Then, he'd go in for his kiss!!


Seriously sooo cute!!


Sitting by the campfire.




Riding quads with Dustin's brother Mitchell and his wife, Sarah.

4th of July

I know these are a little late but I wanted to share just a few pics from the 4th of July. We had a picnic at my dad's house. My brother bought some fireworks to show Kate. He gave her some sparklers to try out. She liked the sparklers but hated everything else! She hates noise lately. She even covers her ears when public restroom toilets flush?? Who knows about that girl sometimes. Anyways, then we had smores over a fire later that night. It was a nice day. We had to stay home with the kids, though, while my brother, his wife and my dad went to watch fireworks. Bedtime duties call! O'well.

Jack's 1st Haircut

Last Monday we took Jack to get his first haircut. I'm sure I could have just cut it at home...but I took him to get it done. He did a great job. He looks so handsome, I think :)

Before his appointment with Daddy. Dustin looks grumpy, but he wasn't :)




Kate and I watching Jack's haircut.


After. Look how handsome!